I drove over to Nose Hill for a run, and I barely made it out of my car. It took a good eight minutes of staring at hill before I made my move.
When I did, I just walked around the hill while listening to a podcast, hoping it would drown out my thoughts.
I’ve been struggling this week – mentally I am just all over the place. The last thing I want to do is run or train.
I have been feeling good lately then suddenly everything is just too overwhelming. I am sad. I cried Monday about some random misunderstanding. I can’t focus on work, and all I want to do is sleep.
What is going on?
I am probably due for a deload week. Or I may have just been skimping on my iron intake. So many things to consider.
Imposter syndrome in running
My realistic brain knows it’s perfectly normal to have up and downs when training, especially for a 100-mile race. This week I have been feeling like a complete fraud. I feel ridiculous and completely out of my league. I keep thinking I have no business training for a 100-mile race. Last year running had taken a back burner to life last year (and more), and I am only just now crawling out of the darkness into the sunshine.
I spent some time foolishly on Strava, and that made me feel even worse about myself. I don’t usually compare myself to other runners (we all have our strengths and weaknesses). I generally feel confident but these last few days, I have been feeling so lost.
I know. I know. It is the crazy talking. Sometimes I wish I had some running buddies to help bring me out of this funk. I want to join group runs but I don’t feel good enough or my social anxiety wins the day.
Deep down I know I will get over this about my feelings in a few days. It is good just to say this “out loud” on this platform.
To anyone else feeling like a fraud or struggling with their training, know that you’re not alone. We all have ups and downs, and it’s perfectly normal to feel this way. I think it is quite common to experience imposter syndrome in running.
Have you ever felt like a fraud in running? I would love to hear from you in the comments below.