‘Speaking up’: Virks sharing their painful story to help others

CRYSTAL RHYNO – Herald-Tribune Staff

Reena Virk would have turned 26 this year. Her parents, Manjit and Suman, believe she would have been a nurse. The caring, gregarious girl they gave life to would have worked in a field where she helped others.

Instead, now it is Manjit and Suman who are helping others while they cling to the memories of a first-born daughter, murdered by her peers.

On the second day of visiting schools in the city, the couple shared the intimate details of their family life during that horrific time nearly 12 years ago.

Suman spoke of how they watched their daughter transform from a vibrant child into a troubled teen. She explained how her daughter alleged shocking stories of family abuse, which led to the arrest of Manjit and the removal of Reena from their home.

Suman calmly told her audience all this stemmed from Reena’s desire to fit in. Then, without hesitation, she explained how Reena, a Grade 9 student, was lured to a party in a suburban area of Victoria.

A pin drop could be heard at the Composite high school gymnasium when she described how her 14-year-old daughter was brutally beaten and murdered.

Six teenage girls were sentenced for their roles in the beating of Virk. Sentences ranged from 60-day conditional sentences to one year in jail.

Warren Glowatski, the only male involved in the crime, was convicted of second-degree murder and sentenced to life in prison with no chance of parole for seven years.

Kelly Ellard was convicted twice of second-degree murder. Currently her case is before the Supreme Court of Canada, where it will be determined whether a fourth trial is warranted.

“A lot of kids don’t read the newspaper or watch the news,” said Suman.

“By sharing our story, people can come to an understanding of how vast the problem of youth violence and bullying is.”

She hopes she and her husband will leave an impression that leads to education and change.

“We want people to speak up,” she said. “How can we expect the kids to do that if we are not talking about our life experiences and pass that knowledge on?”

Grade 10 students Taylor Johnston and Chelsea Likely, both 15, were extremely moved by the Virk’s story.

In 1997, both girls were young when the Virk story made headlines around the world.

Hearing the story for the first time yesterday did not lessen the impact of its nature any less. Johnston said it was interesting to hear about bullying from a parent’s perspective, as opposed to from her peers.

“You know it goes on,” said Johnston. “Everyone gets teased. For some reason, people are very mean. It’s different from a parent’s perspective. We see it just as personal attacks.”

Likely agreed with her friend. She said it is difficult to see it from a parent’s perspective and was impressed with the way the Virks shared their story so openly.

“It was pretty interesting to know what people go through, like how they can talk about it still and be able to explain how it is,” she said. “People threatened to beat me up but you ignore it. You act like it doesn’t bother you and they drop it. They go find someone else. But some people take it too personally and end up hurting themselves.”

Johnston said everyone in the school knows bullying goes on. She said there are many different reasons why kids tease one another.

“I get along with a lot of people but, for some reason, people like to be mean to those who can take it,” she said. “It’s sad. (Reena) needed to fit in. That was sad because it ended up being her (downfall).”

Bev Boone, a Grade 10 teacher at the Comp, had followed the story since the grisly details came to light.

As a mother, and teacher with more than 30 years of teaching experience, Boone knows the pressures students face every day.

“It’s such a world today. They do have a lot of things going on in their heads,” she said. “And they don’t always have a way to share it, or trust people to share it with.”

She said as an outsider to the Virk story, she only heard details from the court case through newspaper articles.

“I didn’t realize all these things that were happening to their daughter or the changes that they saw,” said Boone.

“I have spoken to parents and they see changes in their kids. It sounds like parents are lost sometimes about the changes that are going on. That’s frightening.”

Manjit wants young people to speak out, to make a difference. He said what happened to his daughter should not have happened.

“Being young, you have your pressures,” he said, while referring to violence in society.

“You have to do some soul-searching. You have the option not to watch those things and to be a peaceful person by developing qualities that are much greater than these superficial things.”

He mentioned qualities such as kindness, love, forgiveness, compassion and understanding.

He said when you learn these qualities, they will shine through your personality.

“The difficulty with Reena was she did not have a good self-image because she was teased,” said Manjit. “She was bullied and she thought the only way she could survive is try to emulate and copy other people to be accepted.”

He said Reena had to resort to lying, which caused the family much grief.

Now Manjit said his message is simple – choose your friends wisely.

“It’s nice to be important but it’s even more important to be nice,” he said.

“If you’re a nice person you will have friends and people will be attracted to you.”

LEARN HOW TO FORGIVE

Manjit said it is equally important to learn how to forgive. Johnston was extremely moved when Manjit said those words.

“What the dad was saying was amazing,” said Johnston.

“That he can still say forgiveness is the best virtue and all of these things. He has all the best points even though this happened to him and his family.”

Copyright © 2009 Grande Prairie Daily Herald Tribune

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge