focus

When an injury puts running on hold, who am I? Good question.

Maybe you should find another “hobby.”

A casual friend made the remark after I mentioned my frustration with how long it’s taking for my foot to heal. It got me thinking about what my life was before I started running and how it has changed because of running.

Before I started running, I didn’t have much focus in my life. (Not much has changed and I am still trying to focus but that’s another blog post.) At the time I had just moved to Alberta and started a new reporting gig. I had been lofting around in Ottawa for months after travelling and teaching in Asia for four years. I liked trying new things and adventure is always at the top of my list.

Running found me when I most needed it to focus on my health and well being. I may have only been a “runner” for 10ish years, I feel like I have been running all my life.

I can’t imagine not running. My life over the last 11 years or so has revolved around running. Most people I have met over the years in Alberta will identify me as a runner thanks to my columns and my blog. I have planned holidays and trips around running. Not to mention most of my extra cash has been spent on running sneakers and accessories.

So who am I if I am not a runner? Good question.

focusing
Algonquin Park

This year I am laser-focused on figuring out my “why.” Why am I here? What is my purpose? Who cares? While I look all shiny and happy on the outside, I have had a tough few years. I am getting more retrospective in my old age and it’s unsettling. I have so many regrets about wasted opportunities and being a complete manipulate bitch at periods in my life. I am still mentally hurting. I don’t want to trauma dump so I won’t get into detail.

But I am not focusing on the negatives in my past. I am really, really trying to let things go. Besides I have done some pretty awesome stuff and had some wonderful experiences. So where does running fit in all this seemingly hot mess of my life?

Focusing on the healing

Running keeps my crazy at bay. It’s not about some silly race or some stupid t-shirt. In so many ways, running has filled my therapeutic needs. You have probably heard some runners say running is the best therapist. I can’t tell you how many times I have left the house for a run feeling anxious and stressed. Minutes later I am feeling on top of the world, like a giant weight has lifted. (Not every run mind you, but I feel so much lighter.)

Having an injury that is slow to mend does not mesh with my 2021 running goals nor does it help to alleviate my heightened pandemic-induced stress. Most people have support systems and other ways to deal. I don’t. For many, many people, this year has been incredibly hard because of the loneliness and despair that the pandemic has dispersed across the world. I hear it from friends and I see it clearly from my computer screen.

So no, I am not going to find a new hobby. I’ll continue to take the healing one day at a time. Crossing my fingers that consistent physiotherapy & at home exercises will fix what ails my body.

I am not a fan of focusing on worse case scenarios. Going to look forward and stay positive.

Have you ever been injured as runner? How did you cope with the down time? I would love to hear from you in the comments below.

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